Ewwwww.

So...the intern said, "Sicknasty." (One word)

True Story

So...the intern said, tired of questioning, "Why are you trying to write an E! True Hollywood Story about this?"

Couture

So...the intern said, "He has his own clothing line. All the proceeds go to the sex trade in Nepal."
Editor: "You mean go to end the sex trade in Nepal?"
Intern: "Yes, that."

BFF

Breathless, and rushing into the newsroom...
So, the intern said..."I just met my new best gay friend!"

Heaven and ... well

So, the intern said..."I think hell is real. I can sometimes feel the flames of hell licking at my feet when I'm being really bad."

Really?

So...the intern said, "There is nothing wrong with a woman and a cat in matching sweaters."

Future in the pictures

Co-worker: “You may be able to do a one-woman show.”

So…the intern said, “My boyfriend will tell you I AM a one-woman show.”

Such a lovely place

So...the intern said, "There's a lot of debauchery in Athens. It's a great place."

With a little help from my friends

So...the intern said, "I have gay, bi and lesbian friends out my butt. Not literally. But oh whatever..."

Finely tuned senses

So...the intern said, "Oh! I smell disaster."

Winning?

So...the intern said, "Is he still dating those two porn stars?"

One does not beget the other.

So...the intern said, "He's home-schooled and his teeth are all kind of jacked."

My Left Foot

So...the intern said, "Wait - isn't he the one with the foot fetish? He's nice."

Paging Doctor Intern

So...the intern said, "I truly feel like I should have been a doctor."

Yikes

So...the intern said, "Syphilis — can you cure that?"

All You Need is Love

So...the intern said,"He just wants to be loved. But I am not doing the loving."

Alternative income?

So...the intern said, "See, I know a little bit 'bout drug dealin'."

Judge Not

So...the intern said, "Don't judge me," with a full mouth while holding a piece of cheesecake in her bare hand.

Magical

Co-worker: "Everything is magical to you. Heaven forbid you should run into a unicorn in real life."
So...the intern said, "I would ride that pony so far."

Omega Cannibal Phi

So...the intern said, "We don't care. We're sorority girls. We eat people for breakfast."

The Intern - Social Activist

So...the intern said, "His mom was really poor and was an unwed mother and her son grew up and made millions of dollars and that's one good reason not to have an abortion."

I'm Not ADD Oh Look Shiny!

So...the intern said, "Oh my boyfriend and I had it out last night Oh my God look at how cute my cat is in this picture. (In one sentence, while changing expressions from frowning to smiling in .03 seconds)."

Oh So Close But So Far Away

So...the intern said, "That's like close to where Dahlonega is but it's like an hour-and-a-half away."

150 Years

So...the intern said, "Sesquicentennial. I didn't know what that word meant because I have an incredible sense of imagination so I've just been glossing over it."

The Writer Must Write What He Has To Say

So...the intern said. "I need to be fired. I suck at writing."

Friends of Intern

So...the intern said (while leaving a message for someone), "Hey I just saw your Facebook status. Are you going to jail again? I think you should call me."

No Interns Allowed

So...the intern said, "Add to the list of places I've been kicked out of (which includes Walmart, Kmart, the mall while on assignment) the gas station."

My name is not Ariel, it's Helvetica...

So...the intern said, "Sometimes I get bored in Spanish so I practice fonts."

Go to jail...

So...the intern said, "I sprayed some perfume on the letter I sent to my ex-boyfriend who is in jail."

Live the Sheen dream

So...the intern said, "I say some dumb things but at least I am not Charlie Sheen."

Meow.

So...the intern said, "I've been told I have cat-like qualities. I can be aloof and I am smart."

TNT. We Know Drama.

So...the intern said, "I told her thank-you the next morning for filling up the condo with more drama than TNT."

Dental Work

So...the intern said, "I vaguely thought about that as I was in a vicodin haze with frozen salmon on my face."

Oh Bother.

So...the intern said, "My idiot friend married and idiot man and they're the parents of my god child. I now have to testify in a custody hearing."

No makeup - Official

So...the intern said, "Last night I was in my retainer and my lymphadema getup - no makeup and he told me it needed to be official that we are boyfriend and girlfriend."

Bang Bang on the Door Baby

So...the intern said, "I can't go to her hair salon. I have to find a new one. She would give me bangs or something."

Philosophy

So...the intern said, "I wrote something really inspiring on facebook today, would you like to hear it? 'It's a little bit magic, it's a little bit sad. This life that we lead can make us want what we had. So if I haven't thanked you for loving me enough today. You're the sun in my sky and every word I don't say. You're the reason I smile and you're the reason I believe ... you are everything I want and you are everything I need.' "

She Does Have a Son

So...the intern said, "Are you kidding? I love the Palins. I want to be a Palin."

That's What They All Say

So...the intern said, "Everything I say has merit, but if you take it out of context, I sound like an idiot!"

Disciplinary Matters

So...the intern said, "I intentionally got sent to ISS in high school so I could have some time to myself. I read all of Wuthering Heights in one afternoon."

Big Sis

So...the intern said, "She's in the 5th grade for, like, the third year in a row — she needs me."

Just Go Ahead Without Me

So...the intern said, "I don't think I can make the meeting tomorrow. Apparently I've been subpoenaed."

Delta Delta Delta. Can I help ya help ya help ya?

So...the intern said, "Just pretend I'm dressed appropriately today (after showing up for work in sorority garb)."

This Much is True.

So...the intern said, "There is nothing good about Internet."

Pet Rock

So...the intern said, "Oh - I'm going to get a portrait of Forrest painted on a rock. I'm also going to get a canvas done. I want to frame it."

Scary. For real.

so...the intern said when it is suggested that she and her cat dress in matching costumes for Halloween, "No. We only do that for Christmas. We have matching sweaters."

On Assignment

so...the intern said, "I have never told you 'no' but in any story where there is blood, guts or 'naughty bits', I will say 'no'."

On the Catwalk

so...the intern said, "Yes I walk him. Forrest (the cat) has a leash. it's called 'Come With Me Kitty'. Here, I have pictures."

(Sun) Bathing Beauty

so...the intern said, "Also, I'm getting Forrest (the cat) a Sunny Seat. It's a cat bed that suction cups to the window so they can sunbathe."

Media Relations

so...the intern said, "she held a press conference on our couch. She tried to feed the media and then they made her cry."

The Piano Man

so...the intern said, "I'm sort of like that song by that Jew. What is his name? Rod Stewart? Doesn't he sing that song 'Only the Good Die young?' Oh right, Billy Joel."

Pick me! Pick me!

so...the intern said, "I just got an email from a source - 'Hi. After reading your story we decided you are the gal for us'."

Moving Violations

So...the intern said, "I backed my car into a light pole and I just got a new paint job. I also got a fat speeding ticket. Then I cried and told the cop I couldn't afford it and he told me to slow down. He was totally trying to play me."