Meow.

So...the intern said, "I've been told I have cat-like qualities. I can be aloof and I am smart."

TNT. We Know Drama.

So...the intern said, "I told her thank-you the next morning for filling up the condo with more drama than TNT."

Dental Work

So...the intern said, "I vaguely thought about that as I was in a vicodin haze with frozen salmon on my face."

Oh Bother.

So...the intern said, "My idiot friend married and idiot man and they're the parents of my god child. I now have to testify in a custody hearing."

No makeup - Official

So...the intern said, "Last night I was in my retainer and my lymphadema getup - no makeup and he told me it needed to be official that we are boyfriend and girlfriend."

Bang Bang on the Door Baby

So...the intern said, "I can't go to her hair salon. I have to find a new one. She would give me bangs or something."

Philosophy

So...the intern said, "I wrote something really inspiring on facebook today, would you like to hear it? 'It's a little bit magic, it's a little bit sad. This life that we lead can make us want what we had. So if I haven't thanked you for loving me enough today. You're the sun in my sky and every word I don't say. You're the reason I smile and you're the reason I believe ... you are everything I want and you are everything I need.' "

She Does Have a Son

So...the intern said, "Are you kidding? I love the Palins. I want to be a Palin."

That's What They All Say

So...the intern said, "Everything I say has merit, but if you take it out of context, I sound like an idiot!"

Disciplinary Matters

So...the intern said, "I intentionally got sent to ISS in high school so I could have some time to myself. I read all of Wuthering Heights in one afternoon."

Big Sis

So...the intern said, "She's in the 5th grade for, like, the third year in a row — she needs me."

Just Go Ahead Without Me

So...the intern said, "I don't think I can make the meeting tomorrow. Apparently I've been subpoenaed."

Delta Delta Delta. Can I help ya help ya help ya?

So...the intern said, "Just pretend I'm dressed appropriately today (after showing up for work in sorority garb)."

This Much is True.

So...the intern said, "There is nothing good about Internet."

Pet Rock

So...the intern said, "Oh - I'm going to get a portrait of Forrest painted on a rock. I'm also going to get a canvas done. I want to frame it."

Scary. For real.

so...the intern said when it is suggested that she and her cat dress in matching costumes for Halloween, "No. We only do that for Christmas. We have matching sweaters."

On Assignment

so...the intern said, "I have never told you 'no' but in any story where there is blood, guts or 'naughty bits', I will say 'no'."

On the Catwalk

so...the intern said, "Yes I walk him. Forrest (the cat) has a leash. it's called 'Come With Me Kitty'. Here, I have pictures."

(Sun) Bathing Beauty

so...the intern said, "Also, I'm getting Forrest (the cat) a Sunny Seat. It's a cat bed that suction cups to the window so they can sunbathe."

Media Relations

so...the intern said, "she held a press conference on our couch. She tried to feed the media and then they made her cry."

The Piano Man

so...the intern said, "I'm sort of like that song by that Jew. What is his name? Rod Stewart? Doesn't he sing that song 'Only the Good Die young?' Oh right, Billy Joel."

Pick me! Pick me!

so...the intern said, "I just got an email from a source - 'Hi. After reading your story we decided you are the gal for us'."

Moving Violations

So...the intern said, "I backed my car into a light pole and I just got a new paint job. I also got a fat speeding ticket. Then I cried and told the cop I couldn't afford it and he told me to slow down. He was totally trying to play me."